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In The Closet Dating Site Reviews 2019
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Preview — The Cross in the Closet by Timothy Kurek

Timothy Kurek, raised within the confines of a strict, conservative Christian denomination in the Bible Belt, Nashville, Tennessee, was taught the gospel of separation from a young age. But it wasn’t long before Timothy’s path and the outside world converged when a friend came out as a lesbian, and revealed she had been excommunicated by her family.
Distraught and overcome ...more

Published October 2nd 2012 by BlueHead Publishing

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In The Closet Dating Site Reviews 2019

Jan 11, 2013Beth rated it did not like it

I really wanted to like this book because it seemed--at first glance anyway--a courageous effort on the author's part. But I ended up disliking it, for two major reasons.
This seems like an honest book, sometimes painfully so. I also think Mr. Kurek is sincere in his desire to understand people he used to hate as well as why he was taught to hate them. I don't doubt the journey.
The first reason for my dislike is that Mr. Kurek is almost obsessive in his reminders to the reader that he's not actua...more

I am a married woman, and I haven't been a churchgoer for years. I loved this book. A former member of a very conservative Christian church, I never could understand why gays were so ostracized by our church and so many others. Knowing many gay men and lesbian women over my life, I never bought into the theory that your sexuality is a choice. Of course, acting on it is, I suppose, but I don't believe you can control what gender(s) you are attracted to.
This was such a great idea for a memoir, an...more

Oct 11, 2012Terri rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

If I had an unlimited supply of money I would order this book by the case and pass it out to everyone I know. Timothy Kurek's account of his year living with the label 'Gay' is one of the most powerful testimonies I have ever encountered of the reality of God's continuing ability to change hearts and minds about 'the Other' as well as a powerful rebuke to those of us within the Christian church about how we treat those with whom we disagree. In the tradition of 'Black Like Me', Tim's immersion i...more

Online Dating Reviews

As soon as I heard about this book, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Tim Kurek's book, The Cross in the Closet, is a book I have been spreading the word about since I read the very first page. It is the story of how Tim went from being a Devout Christian who was very anti-gay to a fierce LGBTQ+ advocate in 12 months by simply having the courage to question his religious upbringing, and the compassion to walk in the shoes of the people in the LGBTQ+ community -- starting with coming out to ...more

Nov 04, 2012Elliot Ratzman rated it really liked it

Will gays—loving, suffering, blessing—show us how to be more Christian? In the tradition of undercover experiments like Nickel and Dimed, Black Like Me and People of the Abyss, Tim Kurek, a young Southern conservative Evangelical, decides he is going to experiment with the experience of being labeled ‘gay’ for year. This is no light-hearted “My gay year”; Tim comes out to his family, leaves his church and foreswears girls. He takes on a “boyfriend”, works in a gay coffeehouse and protests with S...more

Nov 29, 2012Janice Eastburn rated it really liked it

I have read a lot of LGBT literature in my time; both fiction and non-fiction. This book is one of the most powerful I have read. Timothy Kurek, the author, is a heterosexual man who was raised in conservative Christianity. He was raised to hate and shun gay people and admits to his own entrenched bigotry. When a friend comes out to him and tells him that her family has disowned her, it challenges Timothy's belief system. He then embarks on a year-long journey to learn 'what it is like' to be ga...more

What happens when a very conservative Christian decides to spend a year as a gay man in order to understand the enemy? Not unexpectedly, he gains a great deal of insight and becomes a strong ally in favor of equality. That's the story told by Tim Kurek in 'The Cross in the Closet', a book I recommend highly.
Tim grew up in a very religiously conservative family in Nashville, Tennessee. While attending Liberty University, the largest, private, Conservative Christian college in the US (if not the w...more

Feb 06, 2013Cyndi rated it really liked it

The author is an Evangelical Christian living in a conservative part of the United States. After some encounters with gay people he met, he realized his own bigotry and decided to embark on a year long experiment where he came out as gay and lived and worked in the local gay community.
Kurek is an excellent writer whose prose makes you want to keep reading. He doesn't hold back with his feelings and embarrassing moments. There is some mention of sex in the book, but it's mild. Although he had a '...more

Oct 29, 2012Karen rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction, social-issues, spirituality, lgbt-issues, biography-memoir

Based on this book, Timothy Kurek seems to be a pretty incredible person. Raised as a very conservative Christian, he has an epiphany during his college years and decides to confront his hostile and judgmental view of gays. He 'closets' his straight nature and comes out as gay to family and friends. This serves a dual purpose: he experiences the ongoing difficulty of keeping his true nature closeted for a full year, and he is immersed in both the camaraderie of gay culture and the ostracism by p...more

Oct 12, 2012Shelli Black Rose rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: LGBT community, Christians, atheists

As soon as I saw this book reviewed in the news, I couldn't wait to read it! It not only lived up to the reviews, it went well beyond what I expected!
Timothy Kurek was raised in Bible Belt, and brought up in an extremely conservative church. He was taught the Christian fundamentals of bigotry and hatred toward anyone that didn't live up to the Evangelical standards. But he knew something wasn't right; he felt it in his core. So he set out to see if he could learn what his inner voice was naggin...more

My hat's off to Timothy Kurek - whatever your take is on the ethics of his idea, I think it was a pretty bold experiment. When I saw the trailer for the book and heard him speak so humbly and eloquently about his experience, I was interested enough to buy it.
I'm a non-Christian lesbian, so I suppose I'm not the intended audience for this book. I certainly enjoyed reading about Kurek's crisis of faith and his subsequent desire to experience what it is to be 'the other' in a way that most straight...more

What better way to get as close as possible to truly understanding what members of the GLBT community go through than to attempt to replicate the process. Tim did a wonderful job of being respectful of the process and emphasizing that he now understands the variations of all coming out stories and experiences. He gracefully acknowledges that his story could have been worse and that there are many out there that are worse.
Aside from the occasional typos and the conversation with his Pharisee, (n...more

Oct 16, 2012Cheryl Corbin rated it really liked it

Initially, when I heard about this book, I was concerned that a social experiment that has gone a-gay. Why would a minister want to solicit his best big black friend to pretend to be his lover? Then I began to read more and it proved to be a learning experience for me as well. Timothy Kurek makes a powerful statement as a straight man that places his hetero sexual life in the closet so that he can understand how another may live.
It is not an experiment for the weak at heart but a lesson in lea...more

I thought this was a very thought-provoking book. It certain twisted my world view around especially when it came to my own prejudices against extreme fundamentalist Christians.
The biggest compliment I can give this book is it was about religion without being preachy. As I am not Christian, I was hesitant to read it because I had feared it would spend a lot of time trying to convert me, but the opposite is true. In fact, the author himself comes the realization that proselytizing is not the answ...more

Northampton, Massachusetts. Where I live and work, where I drink and eat, where I walk and gab and play and read. I’m really starting to like this town. Folks are friendly, kind, peaceful. Not quick to judge you at face value. People seem much less obsessed with their appearance here compared to back home. Folks are very comfortable with who they are. They don’t feel the need to hide behind make-up, the right clothes and that bright I’m-always-this-happy smile.
Of late, my reading selections have...more

I saw a very brief piece on CNN about Tim Kurek's book. I felt compelled to purchase a copy from Amazon immediately (Kindle version). My first concern with Tim's book was how it might make people who are identified as LGBT feel, having sort of a trespasser or 'spy' among them, thinking he was being authentic with them and later finding that he'd lied... however good his intentions might have been. By the end of the book, that concern had disappeared, probably because that same concern seemed t...more

The Cross in the Closet by Timothy Kurek
The Cross in the Closet is an excellent book, simliar to Black Like Me in which the author comes out as gay for a year to experience what it is like for L/G/B/T/Q's. He lived in Nashville and was open and honest about his struggles with discrimination and his own inner struggles with his theology. His book underlines how difficult it is for L/G/B/T/Q people to be open in their lives and the sacrifices they make. It underlines how the Church is one of the k...more

Mar 28, 2014♞ Pat Gent rated it liked it · review of another edition

I think that this is a book everyone - EVERYone - should read. It's hard for me to rate it, however, because while I think the concept and topic are critical reading for everyone, the writing itself is not terrific. It's a book written by a 'not a writer' writer, so it suffers from the limitations of its author. But its message is important and the concept behind it is more than noteworthy.
I admire and applaud Tim Kurek for leading us along the pathway the I honestly believe Jesus wants us to t...more

Oct 06, 2013Christina Lewis rated it really liked it · review of another edition

A fantastic idea! I first read about this book in an article on salon.com and had to give it a read. I identified with the writer's background, though I didn't have to go through his incredible journey before coming to similar conclusions. Anyone who believes being gay is a choice- a sin- should read this book.
The only draw back, and reason I give this book 4 instead of 5 stars, is the terrible editing. His editors should have been fired! Maybe it's just me who is bothered so much by it, but it ...more

Nov 09, 2012Emmanuelle rated it it was amazing

I loved this book! (I won't synopsize it, as many others have quite adequately done so.)
Author Timothy Kurek is one of the most courageous people I have read about in a very long time. He lost so much by living as a 'gay' man for a year; yet as a result he gained a deeper and more authentic faith. I wish that more evangelical Christians had the openness of heart and mind that Tim has. I hope that many of them will be led to this book, and that through reading it find the courage to truly love t...more

Nov 02, 2012Le Doon rated it it was ok · review of another edition

The idea behind this book was relatively interesting but it was very simplistic and the writing was poor with so many typos. I think it would have been better if the author took a more objective stance than injecting personal emotion into every aspect of this book, turning it into a schmaltzy cringe fest and undermining some of the more poignant moments. I think it is great to confront some of this issues associated with the conservative churches but I found it hard to finish this book due to th...more

Excellent experiment or life adventure to honestly attempt to understand someone who is totally different from you or maybe just like you. This book helped me in my own journey to better understand my daughter and how to relate back to her as she has recently come out. I tire of the quickness of people, myself included, to judge someone without hearing their story. It's so easy to stereotype people and treat them like they are subhuman instead of seeing through the eyes of the gospel of grace an...more

This is a stunning book: raw, honest, gutsy. Living through the year of his experiment changed Tim Kurek's life -reading this might just change yours. It has given me a bigger sense of life without prejudice, of accepting and loving people as they are.
...more

An absolute lifechanger of a book. I laughed, I cried, I was completely humbled. I plan to do a huge review at some stage, but I don't have time today....more

Dec 10, 2012David Meldrum rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: discipleship, social-justice, culture, current-affairs, church

Take a deep breath.
Breathe in ... A bit more ... Let it out slowly ... And relax.
The gay issue.
I told you to relax, didn't I? Breathing just that bit faster? Teeth and fists clenched? Tension rising?
Breathe deeper.
The gay issue.
There's the problem, why there's so much tension in churches about this. Right there.
The clue is in one of those three words:
the gay issue
Did you spot it?
I lied. Sorry.
The clue's in at least 2 of the words. Maybe a third.
'The' - the definite article. Making it, whatever '...more

This is a gripping, emotional narrative of one man's journey from being a homophobic theocrat to an ally for the LGBT community. It contains well-written prose that makes the book difficult to put down.
I was especially moved by the author's heart-rending account of his past flippancy toward his (now deceased) gay supervisor, Todd. This book is partially the author's attempt at making reparations for that incident, and I appreciate the courage it must have taken to include that in the story.
The s...more

Wow. I'm not much of a nonfiction reader but this book was just excellent. The premise at least. Sometimes the writing was a bit underdeveloped and a copy editor was desperately needed. But the premise of a conservative Christian deciding to spend a year as an out gay man to see what things are like is just fascinating (for lack of a better word). Reading the book was like experiencing the closet all over again but at least at an arm's length this time. It's been eleven years for me and I don't ...more

I must admit, when I first heard about this book and the concept behind it, I was rather irritated and offended. I found something patronizing in the whole idea of this experiment-as though my friends and I are like some interesting new species of insect one studies in a biology lab, rather than fully formed human beings. THe idea of a straight man pretending to be gay to study the LGBT experience-it had a whole 'life among the savages' feel to it I found distasteful. And I must admit, when I re...more

Mar 19, 2013marcus miller rated it really liked it

As I read this I kept thinking of Paul Laurence Dunbar's poem, 'We Wear the Mask' which includes these lines
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
After family issues cause him to begin questioning his fundamentalist Baptist faith, a close friend tells Kurek she is gay. His response to her later causes questions and guilt. After some...more

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Timothy Kurek is tackling some of the front burner issues of our day. His unrestrained style of immersion lends a uniquely empathetic perspective, engaging his audiences with empathy, humor, and refreshing candor. His first book, The Cross in the Closet, released October 2012 and became a critical success, not just nationally, but internationally as well (it is currently available in Hungarian and...more

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